What am I? Am I just lost?

I feel.. really hopeless, useless, pointless, ineffective.
(Having a really really negative mindset at the point of writing.)

I don't know what am I anymore.
A friend of mine told me on Whatsapp, "You are a good friend."

To be honest, I have never felt that way towards anyone.
I feel like a lousy friend - sure I may seem like I care, sure I could help.
But I don't know, my heart doesn't feel that way.

Every time someone wants accompany, I could accompany but in actual fact my heart says otherwise. It tells me to be alone.

It doesn't seem like I have helped anyone to a great extent lately or in the past.

I skip meals, thinking that:
mental > food,
food is a waste of time,
and it's like that ever since.

Another friend asked me to define 'talent'.
I told him "Talent is the ability to complete a specific task without much effort and with effort it will go soaring."

Is it not right?

If so, I don't seem to possess that at all where I thought before I was good in programming.

I can't even do simple programming now, so do I really have talent?

Now I am stuck in this last 4 questions of Mathematics Homework Assignment.
I was so eager to complete them all and getting stuck for 4 hours is just unacceptable.
Therefore, I cried inside (which I always do) with all the emotions bewildering me.

Comes to the question of what am I good at, at all?

Maybe, I am so good in negativity that people don't really look up to me.
I suck at human relations, I suck at academics, really just what am I?

Misery

Fatigue continues to cling on to me,
my right shoulder+neck continues to be an issue,
I have (some) friends who say they don't know anything but in fact they are knowledgeable,
I ain't academically inclined,
my brain isn't functional.

At least I am truthful.

In my humanities group project I have members who are just too awesome, using English structures and vocabularies which doesn't even draws out from me. That totally blends me out.

Politics class I can't make up of what's going on and the assessment is mainly essays. How am I even going to hit 1000 words?

My main core module, programming, does not seems to be in sync for me. Only understood 1/10. Sit-in-lab and announcing Mid-term tests just has to happen to stir the feeling.

My ears seems to be in conflict with the grey matter and Trance music doesn't calm me down or rather the energy does not even enter my nerves.

I am putting up a strong front, looking all tough on the external, laughing and smiling but obviously this will end up me breaking emotionally much easier and swiftly.

This is just way overly depressing, where one day I might just stay late in campus, sit down in one corner of a stairwell and let it all out.

Praying doesn't seem to enable guidance anymore, the road is just rocky and the weather is much of a typhoon 24/7.

And no I don't write this asking for symphathy.

Obviously, seeking help is much of a disdain since everyone would be busy with themselves. Disheartened writer signing off.