Willingness

Honestly speaking, during my Polytechnic days, I have absolutely no idea how I got through it with such a breeze.

Everything I did during those days were smooth. Projects completed like a month before the actual commencement, 2 to 4 tutorials completed way before the tutorial lesson for that particular topic.

Not sure if it's that powerful mind and will or it's just something, someone is helping out with my past path.

But now, it seems like I have to be in control of everything. Things seems to become a havoc if I don't bother about it and those workload accumulation will become even more. Maybe it's the bad coordination between time and studies itself as I've said time seems to be much faster these days or maybe it's just the time table that I have now or it's my vitality to keep on going.

Well, talking about taking control, it requires WILLPOWER. Without that, one will just give everything up. WILLPOWER requires interest too. With interest comes that urge to learn where it fuels up the will. So how much interest do I have to keep this up? Besides, knowing that one of the module is rather out of my interest.

So how can I fill up an interest of a topic when before I don't even have a pint of it? I've always been reading www.lifehack.org, hoping to find some shortcuts and assist to get the best for myself. It does help but not enough.

I have never taken health in account when it comes to studies and it seems like I can't do the same like before anymore. For example, have 4 hours of sleep instead of 6 or more just before an 8AM class for tomorrow. I used to do that all the time without a single problem. Yup but now, fatigue LITERALLY fills up when I do that. Just like an overclocked CPU where the temperature rises when too much processing power is used and the computer ends up BSOD and crashes.

I really don't know how I can continue this. And being a Capricorn makes all these dreadful event even worse. A personality where there's no rest allowed when things aren't completed.

Oh I have to also add that, my mindset about NUS is that everyone is just way too smart, discussing topics extensively, solving problems like a breeze. It makes me feel like I am the 小物, and making me 小物见大物. I don't know really, I am not in place.

Two pictures below are the worse for my brain to process. More especially the left one.